Thursday, March 23, 2017

bring joy

I rely on myself a lot. I pull myself out of funks. I self-medicate with yoga and running and writing until I can find myself again. 
I live in a place far from where I'm from. I don't have the camaraderie that comes with an 8-5 job. I make friends, but then the keeping part is hard. I don't have any free babysitters so I either lug my kids along to my friend dates or, more likely, just don't make them. 
I am constantly ensconced in the noise these boys emit, surrounded by the messes they create.
 
So sometimes I have to remind myself of joy, when I'm not feeling it. I must change my mood because no one else will do that for me. I have learned self-reliance in the most primitive of its meanings.
We’re born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we’re not alone. ~Orson Welles

I believe this Orson Welles quote in the most lonely of interpretations. 
I am for myself what I wish I could delegate to someone else.
So I bought this book at Barnes and Noble, to remind myself of joy. 
And I bought these little signs to remind myself that what I'm doing isn't always what's most important. That I can chill out and calm down and be for myself what I need.

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