Saturday, January 11, 2014

the terminated

Last Friday I lost my job. I was let go, terminated, dismissed. Whatever you want to call it. At first, I was upset. But a week has passed. And over the past week, the anger and bitterness has drained out of me like water swirling down the drain of a bath tub. I have had week to reclaim myself. I have had a week free of the pressures of others and week to be just myself.

I used to work at a place that fostered and promoted pettiness and backstabbing and gossip and dishonesty. And now that I'm removed from it, I see that all of that was becoming a part of me, too. I was a product of my environment. For over a year now, I've been stressed and anxious and losing myself. So although it wasn't my decision to leave, I've come to peace with the fact that I'm not in control of everything. Some decisions are made for me. And even though that wasn't my choice, I'm better as a result of someone else's choice.

Being let go had nothing to do with me - that has something to do with the person who made the choice. I see that now. So last week when I was ashamed and my ego was shot because of being terminated, those feelings were misplaced. Today I am healthier, happier, and a better person than I was a week ago. I have started working out again. I have projects to keep me busy. I am reading and enjoying my hobbies again. 

So what if I have joined the ranks of people who have been fired? I always thought it would be so terrible. And you know what? It's alright. Life goes on. Life gets better.

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