Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Sweaty curls


The best feeling in the world is when your child comes up to you and lays their head in your lap, for no other reason but just because. I can't wait to have more. 
~ Marlee Matlin

Brandon work up Monday morning red as a beet with quite the fever on him. We took him to the doctor who found an ulcer on his throat. Brandon has foot, hand, and mouth disease. Steve and I alternated between taking care of him and our work schedules. Yesterday, I spent the day with Brandon. Him and I haven't spent a whole day together just the two of us since before he went to daycare. I have missed it being just him and me - in our own little world as if the rest of it doesn't exist.

Although he has been crabby, there have been moments of serenity, too. Like last night when he laid his head on my chest and I felt his little body heave up and down as he drifted into sleep. I laid there, stroking his hair, admiring the way it curls on the ends. And I thought to myself, this little man is all mine. It hit me like it hasn't before that I am the one responsible for this little being. He will grow up and become an independent, responsible man and I will be the first woman he ever loved. I will always have that. 

I am no longer the one seeking a comforter, I am the comforter. I am the one whose room he will run into when he's scared and who he will make Mother's Day cards for - scrawled messily to perfection. I am his mom. I am the most important person in the world to him. And to be the most important person in the world to anybody is something worth living for. 

To the world you may be one person but to one person you may be the world.
~Bill Wilson

When you subtract all the other noise, isn't it people that live in the silence? I read a blog comment that said The important thing about life is love. Everything else is just a distraction. I love that. And I'm getting bored of being distracted. I'm finally ready to focus.




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