Sunday, July 29, 2012

Brandon learns to make noise

It's official. We are a family with home videos. I know those families get a lot of shit, but back off. My child  will be able to see what he acted like when he was a baby. And I'm sure he's going to love seeing himself on the tv, seeing how much he loves himself and tv.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

sleepless in omaha

Last night was my first sleepless night in a long time. Now don't get me wrong, I have been awake with this baby for certain periods every night. But for the last two months or so, he's spoiled me by eating and then falling back asleep. In 30 minutes, I'm back in bed. The days of the newborn incessant crying and not sleeping were over. Or so I thought.

Last night Brandon woke up at about 2:00a. He ate his bottle. And then he cried. And cried. And cried. And wailed. And wailed. We tried jiggling him, shushing him, sucking out his nose, feeding him more, changing his diaper again, putting on Baby Einstein lullabies. Nothing worked. Nothing even calmed him for more than five seconds. I asked Steve to go to Walgreen's to buy some gas drops because daycare has our's. He stayed, thinking Brandon would settle down eventually.

Eventually Brandon did cry himself to sleep. But then woke up a half hour later. And the crying and wailing was worse. Steve and I couldn't hear each other talking over the noise Brandon was emitting. This time, Steve went to Walgreen's for gas drops. But even that didn't help. He continued to wail and cry until he cried himself to sleep again. We slept from 5:00-6:00a. And then it was time to get up and start our days.

I had a lot of nights like this when Brandon was still a newborn. But I didn't have to work the next day, then. I could lay around in my shorts without makeup on and still be in my comfy bra. But this morning, I had to jump in the shower and do chores all while Brandon was wailing. Then I realized there was no way I could take him to daycare like this. Something was wrong. And I kept hoping he just needed to poop. The doctor didn't open until 8:30a, so I called in late to work and waited.

And then, at 8:15a, he pooped. The second I finished wiping his little bottom, a huge grin spread across his face. He was finally better. I sang Nicki Minaj to him while I got dressed for work (she's his favorite, or so I think). I dropped him off at daycare and told the girls to call me if he started back up. They didn't call. He was fine.

Tonight, after Big Brother, I am going straight to bed. And if morning rolls around and I'm still in my bed, a grin will spread across my face like it did Brandon's this morning. Working and parenting is hard work. There's not enough of me to go around or enough time for everything that's expected of me. If only cloning myself--like in Multiplicity--was an option.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

blast from the past

Today I found my first blog post ever. It was a livejournal account that I completely forgot about and assumed closed itself down. I didn't know livejournal still existed. I thought it closed down once myspace and Facebook took over people rambling on about themselves. But this morning, I received a nice surprise in my inbox - a spam comment on my old blog from my senior year of college. I followed the comment to my old blog. I read my friends' livejournals, which still exist, as well. I guess they forgot about it, along with me.

It is hard to believe that the girl that wrote those livejournal entries is me. I hardly recognize myself in her. End of 2004 and beginning of 2005 was my demise - the lowest part of my life. Things were better before, and got better after. Then, I was partying excessively. I can't remember a lot of events that occurred, because I was blacked out drunk. When my blog was written, my grades were slipping because of my partying. I was pregnant (but didn't know it yet in the posts before February 2005). Once I find out I'm pregnant, life changed a lot. And I never looked back. Until today. Because of this spam blog comment that reunited me with my past. 

Here's my first blog post ever, written on 10/30/04:
this is my first blog. anna inspired me. anna also inspired me not to give matt smith an inch, because he'll end up sleeping on you. i am so sorry about that, anna. i will miss anna and all my other old keg friends, seeing i don't work there anymore. that's why i'm blogging. i guess it's better than drinking my sorrows away on a saturday night. or is it? so yeah. this is my blog. ok, i know it's pretty lame right now, but if it's this bad, it can only get better.
"i'm new." (joe dirt). i used to always say that when i started serving at the keg and i was lodging corks into wine bottles or whatever. i found out that flirting with my male customers gets me much better tips than admitting i'm stupid. tips. i will miss those. anyways, i'm unemployed. i should be typing up a resume' or something right now, not blogging.
this is painful. i will end and resume when i can write a little better (never?) 

If you want to continue the trip down memory lane with me, the rest of the blog posts are here

Saturday, July 21, 2012

big ups

I think the next milestone for Brandon is sitting up. So I'm propping him up all over the place. I'm an overachiever by nature, so I want my baby to be more advanced than other kids his age. I saw a two-month old in the Bumbo at daycare and I said, "are you putting Brandon in that?" The only reason the two-month old is in it is because his neck doesn't even reach over the back of it, but I was competitive about it anyway.
I'm hoping to teach him to stand, walk, talk, and roll over any day now, too. I know it's not likely. But I like a challenge. I did the teething test by pressing my finger against his gums to see if they turned white. They did, so that means his teeth are coming soon. I'm not ready for my baby to be a man quite yet, but becoming a little boy is just fine.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

sick psych, baths, bumbo

This week marked a rite of passage for this new mom - taking my son to the doctor when nothing was wrong. The daycare ladies freaked me out by saying he wasn't himself lately, and he had been eating less and sleeping more. Last week he had a cough. I felt kind of ridiculous, explaining these things to the nurse, but she said to bring him in and they'd check him out. The nurse checked him out and he was fine, save for a slight cold.
Brandon outgrew his baby bath tub so he's taking big boy baths now. He loves floating in the water, then kicking his legs and smiling. Bath time is quickly becoming a favorite for him.
A co-worker of mine has a four-month old nephew. He's always showing me pictures of him. One of the pictures has the nephew sitting in a Bumbo seat all by himself. Of course I got all competitve and thought maybe my three-month old could do the same thing. I bought a Bumbo seat and placed Brandon in it. He liked it, but can't quite support his head all by himself yet. One day I'll post a picture without my arm in it.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

old car new home

I was driving home from work, sweating in my car when something caught my eye. A '98 Saturn SC1. A black one. Just like the one I used to have. There aren't many of those on the road anymore, so I immediately waxed nostalgic about my old one. This one was identical. Except for the American Racing rims, this car in front of me could pass for my car. Wait...could it be? I checked out the passenger door - there was the key mark all along its belly. I checked out the spoiler - the paint was peeling just like mine had. And finally, the front - the gray square where the black paint had chipped off was there. This was my old car!

I smiled and my heart raced a little, knowing it was still alive. The compassion I had for my first car is comparable to how people feel about their pets. The day I traded it in, the salesman told me the dealership would probably auction it off for parts. Something died inside of me that day, knowing this car would never drive again. But something saved this car, because here it was, all its parts save the nice rims. I looked at the new owner of it - he was a guy in his late twenties or early thirties. A boy around seven played in the passenger seat. I smiled at the two of them, while they turned left and I kept straight. Perhaps they only turned because of the creepy woman next to them smiling at them.

But if they did indeed live there, my old car ended up just two miles away from where it used to live. Reminded me of my first dog - Cinnamon. We had to get rid of him, much to my chagrin. He ended up two neighborhoods down with a new family. This family named him "Buddy" which is a terrible name. I used to walk by where I knew he lived, hoping he would smell me and jump the eight-foot fence somehow. He never did. But I could hear his bark and I knew he was still alive. Maybe not as happy as he was with me, maybe more so. Maybe he didn't care either way, as long as he had a home. And knowing my old car has a new home, that gave me something to smile about.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Mr. Independent

 Hope you all had a Happy 4th of July. July 4th marked 3 months from Brandon's birthday. We weighed and measured him for his baby book. 16.2 lbs, 26 inches. It's hard to believe he used to be half this weight. I've struggled with him being in daycare a little. He has a cough now, which of course we're blaming on daycare. But the other day, I left his diaper bag in the car and when I came back into daycare to leave it for him, I saw him gripping a rattle. I didn't know he could hold things in his hands until I saw that. Maybe they are doing something right at daycare, after all.
He smiles and coos incessantly. This morning, he was all smiles while I sang him "Edelweiss." I guess I'm a pretty good singer. Sure, he's no American Idol judge, but I'm sure he has good taste just the same. I mean - look at me: I love Pink. This family has great taste in music.
He sleeps less in the day and plays more now. He is starting to look like me. Well, a mix of me and his dad. But mostly me. I have taken less pictures already since I've been back at work. I feel like there is not enough time for my family and my job. How do people work full-time with families? I think this, and I only have one kid. Maybe it's just a hard transition from spending 12 weeks exclusively with him to returning to my life before him. Maybe as time goes on it will get easier. Or maybe we'll strike it rich and I can quit working. Here's hoping.