Friday, June 8, 2012

two more weeks of only mommy

 When did my little baby get so big? He doesn't look like a newborn anymore. He's a hefty 15 pounds and thinks he's independent. He plays on his piano gym while I do pilates. He tries to hold his bottle himself. He even almost sleeps through the night (midnight-6am). He doesn't fit into the crook of my arm anymore. He doesn't fit into his 0-3 months clothes any more. There are littler babies than him now. He's becoming a boy.
I don't know when this happened. It feels like it was overnight. When I came back from Seattle, Steve marveled at how much bigger Brandon was. Maybe that's when I noticed it, too. I feel like I missed a stage, but I didn't - the newborn phase really went that fast. I see now how people get baby fever when their kids grow up. Is it too early to get baby fever again when my son is only 9 weeks old?
In two short weeks I am returning to work. And Brandon will be going to daycare. I'm afraid of missing another phase of his life. I will still be there for him - every evening, night, and early morning. Every weekend. But those forty hours that I am not with him might destroy me. I have found joy in his every smile and coo. I have been the one who is always with him. I won't be able to say that much longer. So these next two weeks, I will spend even more time than usual kissing his slightly-sweaty forehead. These are the last two weeks before there is someone else who will comfort him when he cries. Now I'm getting teary.

2 comments:

melinda sue said...

it is the worst ever. i am not going to try and sugar coat it for you. the first week you will want to cry with every new task at work, and you will wonder how in the world you can make it through. but you will. and while you may not ever become that parent who is glad to send their kids off and get away every day (everyone kept telling me i would be glad to drop him off soon enough-i'm not.) you will make it. and you will treasure the time you have with him. and you will cry when you are sad to drop him off and he runs away from you with no goodbye kiss happy to be withhis friends and the women who take your place when you can not be there.

Donna Boucher said...

well...if you want to work 1/2 time...that works too...
if you can afford it...and if you hate leaving baby boy.

whatever you do, he will thrive.

most times it's harder on mommy than baby.

thinking of you today!