Yesterday, I was at Olive Garden picking up my to go order, since even at 4:30pm on a Tuesday night, that place is sure to have a one hour wait. In front of me in line at the to go counter was a woman with a fat ass ordering. I was already in a pissy mood, because who the fuck orders to go food from a sit down restaurant at the restaurant? Hasn't she heard of a god damn phone? So she is going to order the food and wait twenty minutes while glaring at the to go lady impatiently. Brilliant.
So the fact that she was a bitch just made me more pissy. I already figured she was based on the way she was standing, hogging the whole aisle rather than standing near the person she was behind in line, but I'm trying to be a gentler person a give people a chance. This woman orders, and says, "and I want a lot of breadsticks," as if she is planning to shove breadsticks in her mouth the way the Guiness record holder did with cigarrettes.
"I can only give you two for free," the to go lady replied tartly. Fat Ass rolled her eyes and shook her head and said, "well I'm not paying for them, so I guess I'll take the two." Then as soon as she said it, she added, "but I know that's bullshit because I work at a bakery." Apparently she thinks working at a bakery makes her an expert at Darden Restaurants policies. Or maybe she was trying to say she knows the value of bread, because she's in the bread industry. Either way, she just sounded like a real idiot and I coughed to cover up my chuckle.
"How long has this policy been in affect?" she asked the to go lady while signing her receipt - she just couldn't let the breadsticks thing go. "Since as long as I've worked here, and I've been here four years," the employee responded. "Well that can't be true," she retorted, "I got more than two breadsticks when I came here in...2008." She was racking her brain in the diary section, trying to see when she last wrote an entry about snorting a six foot line of breadsticks. The to go lady looked at Fat Ass, then looked at me, then snapped, "well, that's the policy."
Finally, Fat Ass stepped aside enough for me to pick up my order which was sitting there getting cold the entire time she was arguing about breadsticks. We all know that there are hundreds of breadsticks behind that door and that thousands of them get thrown away each day, but the point the to go lady was trying to make was that you get back what you put out, as J. Lo would say. If you have a breadstick instead of a small intestine, a bear claw instead of a heart, and angel food cake instead of a brain, maybe you're spending too much time in the bakery and need to start working on your social skills.