In a conversation, I heard myself refer to I-80 as "the interstate." Oh God, I thought, it's happening. After five years of my waning resistance, Nebraska is eking it's way into my personality. I've always been proud of the geographical location of my upbringing, but I'm afraid regardless of it, I'm turning into a Midwesterner. That scares the hell out of me. So I've compiled a list of things that sets me apart from my neighbors to make myself feel better. It's all I have left now besides the occasional, "you're not from around here, are you?"
1. I still haven't worn tennis shoes with jeans
2. I've managed to remain under 180 lbs
3. I don't eat any food made of corn except popcorn which doesn't count because it's a snack
4. I hate Runza
5. I don't wear red on game days and in fact I don't own any red clothing save for one sweater vest I bought in a sweater vest frenzy.
6. Lake Okoboji is not "the beach"
7. Bad teeth are still a turn off
8. "Supper" is "super" misspelled to me
9. I don't own a John Deere, Harley, or a pickup truck
10. Neither me nor my dog hunts
11. I still can't cook
12. I've never ordered from Omaha Steaks
13. My outdoor grill is tiny
14. I don't have a quilt on my bed
15. All my silverware matches
16. I don't own wind pants
17. My hair is not brown
18. I don't consider Plato's Closet to be high fashion
19. I didn't go to the Olive Garden after prom
20. Both my car headlights work