I hate Mulberry trees. I have been yanking out seedlings everywhere. They spread like the clap.
My next dream was a hammock. But I hate those stupid looking hammock holders, so I resolved to buy a post we could dig into the ground and hang the other side from a tree:
After finishing the hammock hole, I weeded around my tomatoes. And I noticed something: I have a tomato! It is still in its green stage and is a runt, but it will grow into a juicy red tomato that one day lies in a slice atop my burger.
I called Steve over to see for himself that I'm not a total halfwit and am able to grow the most simple plant. In my excitement, I found renewed vigor to pay attention to my tomato plants. I stuck yet another tomato cage on top of the one already there for each plant.
I pulled and pushed the branches in all different directions, manipulated them into the cage against their will as a woman in a corset. Then I stood back and admired my work. And that's when I saw it: my one and only tomato, lying in the dirt, a casualty of my gardening enthusiasm.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. I can't even grow the most simple plant. I am a halfwit.