Friday, May 15, 2009

top ten reasons I wanted a house

10. No more of these meth-head neighbors pestering me every time I come and go. Just because you hate the maintenance man doesn't mean I do, too. And I certainly hope your looks aren't contagious.

9. My yard will not be littered with feces, pet hair, and Milwaukee's Best cans. Just feces (from Tucker, just to clarify)

8. We can get our grill back that this place stole. If we set our place on fire, that's our own stupidity, don't try to prevent us from making those mistakes. Next thing you know, they'll be taking matches away from kids.

7. A pantry. I can finally be one of those people who buys eight jars of peanut butter and twelve boxes of cereal, not out of necessity, but just because they're 20¢ cheaper this week.

6. My own library. Finally, my books can breathe! Now if only I could get around to reading them all.

5. No more scraping my car for twenty minutes in 17º weather. I never cared about a garage until I moved to NE. I will, however, still be sweating all the way home in it in the summer. Baby steps.

4. A hose. Stop right there. I did. My car hasn't been actually washed since my dad cleaned it for me in 2005. Only about half the paint has chipped off since then, so there is still time to correct my errors.

3. An excuse to buy new furniture. Because I don't spend enough money on frivolous things already.

2. I will be closer to Chalco Hills and Zorinsky Lake, and thus can feel even worse about myself when I neglect exercise.

1. Otherwise, all of this saving would have been a huge waste of time.

No comments: