I was feeling like pretty hot stuff driving home tonight, as one of my Hispanic friends (I am beloved by the male Hispanic community, for the most part) hanged his head out the vehicle window while gaping at me for two straight miles on I-480 tonight. Right when I merged onto I-80 and he forked south, I noticed the passenger in the semi to the left of me adjusting his side mirror. Blue is my color, I thought to myself, before I realized that the passenger was only adjusting his mirror so he could change lanes and abruptly cut me off. Cut me off from both my speed and my over-exuded self-confidence. (No one, however, can cut me off from using dual hyphens).
I am going to Denver tomorrow to spend a long weekend with my mom and my sister. I am experimenting with my traveling in an effort to become low-maintenance. I will be wearing shoes that nearly slip on (I said nearly: I haven't let myself go to that extreme...yet). No belt, no jewelry. So if you happen to be either at Eppley or DIA tomorrow and you see a girl about 5'7" with her jeans around her ankles and wearing some old-school Nikes from 1997, don't be alarmed, it's just me. Go about your business as if nothing is out of the ordinary (because if you saw me in my natural habitat, nothing would be).